My desire secrets

Since the split, life has barely seemed worth living. You are miserable and even getting out of bed seems like too much to handle at this point. You want more than anything else to get your ex back, but the argument that led to the split was a nasty affair and the idea of making your ex desire you again seems pretty far fetched at the moment. But it isn't impossible. I'll say this again, it is NOT impossible make your ex desire you again.

It is entirely natural to want to go about making your ex desire you again, but in order to do that, YOU have to do something to fix the problems that the reason behind the breakup. You are probably scratching your head trying to figure out how to fix a problem you don't understand, but it is simple.

During arguments, we all say things we don't mean. We regret the words we hurled at our partner after the fight, and chances are, you feel this way too. This is completely normal. But the things you said to your partner were very hurtful, and in order to begin making your ex desire you again, you are going to have to right the wrongs created during the breakup.

It is pointless to keep beating ourselves up over what was said, it is the past and we cannot take it back. But what we can do is give our ex a bit of breathing room. The things said during the breakup were painful to the both of you, and your ex needs time to sort through these emotions before you can even consider having a meaningful conversation with them. You want to start making your ex desire you again, and this is part and parcel to making that happen.

Having some time apart will allow your ex to get over their hurt feelings and also give them the opportunity to miss you. When they are calmer, your apology for the hurt you've caused them will be far more effective.

Once time has passed, contact your ex and apologize for the pain you've caused him or her. If you want to be successful in making your ex desire you again, it is important that you do not push for reconciliation during this first meeting. Just apologize, ask about how their life has been, and leave it there.

This is going to really help in making your ex desire you again. After a few days, you can initiate contact again, and chances are they'll be ready to talk about the breakup and giving the relationship another go.

Thoughtfulness

Thoughtfulness is a concept that many people find difficult. They think that just giving gifts is enough to satisfy people who are ruled by this love secret. The fact is that people who thrive on thoughtfulness do not care as much about the gift itself. Instead, they love the fact that someone thought of them enough to spend time choosing, packaging and bringing them a gift. It is the time that goes into the gift rather than the gift itself that these people thrive on.

For someone who thrives on thoughtfulness, the idea that someone spent the time to find out what they liked is very meaningful. They themselves will spend hours obsessing over small details such as the type of wrapping and the card that will be included. The idea that someone might simply purchase something for them without thinking about it is not only inconceivable, it is hurtful as well.

Everyone can benefit from this love secret. If you start remembering the gifts that people have given you through the years, the chances are good that some gifts will stick out. They may not have been the most expensive and they were often not given at a time when one was expected. They may not have even been a material object at all. It may have been a card, a letter or even a helping hand that was given to you. The most memorable gifts are the ones given by people who put great thought and attention into what they were giving or doing.

How To Tell If You Are Affected Most By This Love Secret

As with the other love secrets, it is not surprising that if you are extremely thoughtful that you will expect others to be that way as well. If you are ruled most by this particular love secret, you will generally be considered by others to be extremely thoughtful. Here are a few key signs that this love secret matters most to you:

• You tend to be upset if someone forgets an anniversary or birthday. You do not regret that you missed out on a gift. These significant dates are a way for others to show that they have paid attention to your wants and needs and are gifting you with an item that reflects these. If that is forgotten, it is very upsetting to you.

• You are someone who is happiest if you have the opportunity to show others you care by gifting them with items.

• It takes you a very long time to pick out gifts or cards for the people in your life. A card, for example, needs to have meaning that is directly related to the person as well as the occasion.

• You tend to spend a long time wrapping the gift. Preparing the gift for giving with wrapping that the person will appreciate is another way for you to express how much that person means to you.

• A gift which is practical but still what you asked for or needed is appreciated more than a gift which may be fun but which has not had a lot of thought put into it. A gift that is totally unsuitable will upset you greatly.

How To Tell If Your Partner Thrives Most On Thoughtfulness

If you are in a relationship with a person who values thoughtfulness the most, it can be an interesting experience. There are times when you may get a reaction to a gift that is totally unexpected. It can be hard to understand why a large, extravagant present may get a lukewarm reaction whereas a small, inexpensive gift or one that is handmade may get a much more enthusiastic response.
If your partner is affected most by thoughtfulness rather than any other love secret they may:

• Become very upset if a birthday or anniversary is missed

• Tend to give gifts for minor occasions or even for no reason whatsoever

• Tend to choose blank cards where they can write information by hand or add extra writing to a preprinted card in order to personalize it more

If your partner is someone who is affected most by thoughtfulness you may think that they will be easy to please. This is not the case. The instant someone receives a gift with no perceived thought behind it they will likely become very upset and it is something that they will remember for years to come. If you want to avoid this you need to find ways to personalize the gifts that you give them even if it is in a small way.

Ways That You Can Work Thoughtfulness Into Your Daily Routine

If you want to find ways to work thoughtfulness into your daily routine you may worry that this will be expensive to do. Many people equate a good gift with one that is expensive. That is not actually the case. People who thrive on thoughtfulness actually pay more attention to the thought behind the gift rather than the amount that it cost.

Working thoughtfulness into your daily routine is less a matter of spending money than it is spending time getting to know your partner or spouse. Listening to them when they talk about things that they like or need as well as paying attention to their emotional state can help guide you as to the best time to slip them a little pick me up present or give you an idea about what matters to them when a more conventional gift giving opportunity comes along.

These people also appreciate a meal that is prepared for them or a card that is slipped onto their pillow in the morning. It shows that you are thinking about them rather than simply taking them for granted. The thought that they are being taken for granted is something that is very upsetting to people who thrive on thoughtfulness.

If you keep notes on things that your partner prefers or times that were most significant to that person you will be able to link gifts or favors that you give them to times that were significant to that person. For example, they may love a vial of sand from a beach that you walked along together or take-out desert from a favorite restaurant that may cheer them up when they are having a bad day.

Wrapping and preparing a gift will also help make a person who thrives on thoughtfulness feel fulfilled. Even if you have no skill at wrapping, taking the time to try may make them happier than a gift which has been professionally wrapped by someone other than you.

Thoughtfulness does not simply apply to material gifts. There are many ways that you can work thoughtfulness into your daily routine and many of them do not have anything to do with gifts at all. By showing your partner or spouse that you can tell what their emotional or physical needs are and provide assistance or service can be a great way to show thoughtfulness. In many ways, this can be very similar to acts of unselfishness and, in many ways they do tend to overlap. Here are some examples that you may want to incorporate into your everyday life:

Everyone loves to have a night off. From time to time, you may want to take on those tasks which your partner would normally perform. If you see that they are tired, offer to make dinner, help the children with their homework or, if money permits, get take out so that you can simply share some quality time with one another.

If you see that your partner is working from home, offer to take care of other responsibilities so that they are not forced to look up from their work and can get their tasks finished more quickly. You may also want to see if there is anything that you can do to help. Sometimes, even having someone to perform routine minor tasks can be a great help to your partner.

Bring home a favorite food or beverage that you would not normally purchase. If you love to cook, prepare it for your partner. This shows that you remember what their preferences are and can be a great way to show that you are thinking of your partner.

Remember that by showing acts of thoughtfulness on a daily basis, it will become easier in time. You will learn which acts are received best by your partner. By doing so on a regular basis, your partner will feel less like you are trying to "buy their affection" in times when you may be experiencing conflict.

If you have never shown gifts of thoughtfulness before and you only do so in times when you and your partner are disagreeing, it can be a very dangerous situation. You may be accused of trying to buy them things in order to get out of trouble and this can lead to additional conflict.

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Yes! No matter how well you know your guy (or think you do), there are things he's never gonna share. What's he hiding? Find out here then learn how to deal


When you first start dating a guy, it makes sense that he would conceal stuff he's not particularly proud of his disorderly apartment, his hairy back, his mother's daily phone calls. But by the time you're a serious couple maybe even living together you probably assume you know your bedmate's every last habit, flaw, and idiosyncrasy. Don't be so sure.

According to new research published in The Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy, one in 10 men are harboring serious sex secrets of one kind or another. "There are two kinds of secrets guys keep," says Les Parrott, author of Crazy Good Sex. "Things they wish their wives or girlfriends would understand but are scared they won't, and things they're just plain trying to get away with."

With that in mind, we polled hundreds of men to learn what they hide at each stage in a relationship and enlisted experts to offer their insights. We discovered there's a decent chance your man is keeping at least one dirty secret. Read on to find out what, if anything, you should do about this potentially huge relationship issue.

When You're Dating...

What he's hiding: The number of women he's had sex with
Some men exaggerate to sound more sexually experienced; others lowball so you don't dismiss them as players. "Men know that if they confess to a large number of partners, it sends the message that they're unlikely to commit to one. That is, to you," says David Buss, a professor of psychology at the University of Texas at Austin and author of The Evolution of Desire.

What you should do Take him at his word, but protect yourself. Be vigilant about using a condom every time you have sex—at least until you've both been tested for STDs and you feel secure that you're in a committed relationship. If you do somehow discover that he's deceived you about his sexual history, get it out in the open, but give him a chance to explain. "He could have fibbed out of embarrassment, insecurity, or sincere interest in you," says Ian Kerner, Ph.D., author of She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman.

What he's hiding: He looks at porn—maybe a lot
According to a study at Brigham Young University, 87 percent of men have looked at some form of porn in the past year, and one in five help themselves to X-rated fare daily. Men like to look at naked chicks—no surprise there—but what is shocking is how quickly they can become dependent on those erotic images. A powerful pleasure cocktail of endorphins and epinephrine (hormones responsible for arousal and alertness) are released while a man watches porn, Parrott says. And that feeling can become addictive.

What you should do Occasional porn isn't the problem; it only becomes a wrecking ball when it starts to intrude on your sex life together. "The two big questions are 'Is it interfering with your life and relationship?' and 'Is he using it to avoid something?'" says sex therapist Sandor Gardos, Ph.D. If he actively hides his material and makes excuses to avoid having sex, be concerned.

Broach the subject when you're calm and rational. "Angry accusations never go over well," Gardos says. Another tactic: Suggest watching together. "It becomes compulsive when he feels like he has to hide it," he says. So if you're willing to share it with him, you'll take the compulsion out of the equation. Plus, experts say, viewing erotic images together can enhance your sex life.


What he's hiding: He compares you to his last girlfriend
It's true: Your guy whips out his ex ruler and measures everything about you: your looks, your bedroom abilities, how well you get along with his friends. But that's not necessarily a bad thing. "It's normal to make comparisons, and an ex is his most recent reference point," says Christopher Blazina, Ph.D., associate professor of psychology at Tennessee State University.

What you should do Nothing. He'll inevitably come to the conclusion that you blow away anyone else he's ever been with, and the silent comparathon raging in his mind will cease. When you should do something: if he frequently blurts out things like "My ex always..." or "My last girlfriend never..." It's not necessarily a sign that he hasn't gotten over her, but it can still be hurtful, Blazina says. When that happens, it's fair to tell him, for example, that you don't want him bringing up the details of their trip to Mexico. Chances are, he's not even aware he's been doing it and will be happy to stop.

There are a few basic truths which you should be aware of if you want a successful relationship. Having this knowledge will enable you to transform a mediocre relationship into something deeply satisfying. Although these truths are founded in common-sense, it's as though they've been forever locked away in a vault for only the lucky few to access. It's time to share these secrets with everyone.

The first secret is to give up living in hopeful fantasy and to see and accept your partner for who they really are. If this new clarity means that you discover some intolerable or unacceptable behaviors or attitudes on their part, then don't waste anyone's time and just walk away. Knowing the truth gives you the power to take good care of yourself. You'll be avoiding a whole lot of misery in this way.

You also need to know that your partner fully sees and accepts you as you are. There's no point in presenting a "cleaned up" version of yourself to them because then the person that they're loving isn't the real you. You can never feel truly loved if you're showing them an inauthentic self. If you've shown your true self to your partner and they can't accept it, again, walk away. Nothing's going to change.

The second secret in successful romance is not to make your partner responsible for giving your life meaning. Both people should be complete beings; each with their own life, friends and attitudes. You should complement each-other rather than complete each-other. Each person needs to bring something of value to the table, and you must remain separate and distinct individuals while developing your connection.

Becoming overly-enmeshed and giving up your identity in a relationship is a sure way of creating unhappiness. Your partner chose you for your unique qualities. Losing them would mean depriving your partner of what they liked about you in the first place. It won't make you happy to give up important parts of yourself and it will only make you that much less attractive to your partner.

The third secret of a successful relationship is mutual respect. There is no place in a healthy interaction for contempt, shaming or being dismissive toward one-another. As soon as any of these attitudes become part of the relationship, it's doomed. Both individuals must value their partner's needs, feelings, thoughts and dreams.

The fourth secret of success is trust. There can be no real intimacy without profound trust. This trust should be based, however, on both people demonstrating to each-other through their actions that they are trust-worthy. When you have seen that your partner means what they say and keeps their promises, and when they've seen the same in you, real trust can take place. This makes it possible for both of you to be vulnerable and yet safe.

The fifth secret of a good relationship is not to expect the other person to heal your emotional wounds. This means that as wonderful as love is, it isn't the cure for what ails you. It's your responsibility to work on whatever emotional baggage you might be carrying from your childhood or from previous relationships, as opposed to burdening your partner with this expectation.

Finally, the biggest secret of all: make your partner happy and they'll do everything they can to make you happy, too. There is an exception to this, however. Your partner must be emotionally healthy enough to reciprocate your love and attention. If you've been trying your best to make them happy and they aren't doing the same for you, it means that things will always be one-sided and that it's time to leave.

A successful romance is mainly a matter of common sense. Be realistic with your partner; stay true to yourselves; maintain your separate identities; be kind and generous and don't burden each-other with inappropriate expectations. When you come together as conscious, responsible adults with lots of love to give, you can't help but create a meaningful and satisfying union.

I'm willing to go out on a limb here and say that there isn't a person on the planet that doesn't have a desire of some kind. I'll even go out on another limb and state that every person on the planet has more than one desire at a time. Whether it's wanting more money, a new home, a relationship, more sleep, more love in the world or even a desire to laugh more in life, it's all about wanting something we don't have at the moment we are wanting it. Depending on any one person's circumstance, each desire can feel just as unattainable and create a feeling of frustration and/or hopelessness.

Here's the truth about desires; we will always have unfulfilled desires and it's because of that, you will continue to grow and expand in your life. Whenever you reach one place or fulfill one desire, you will then automatically find yourself moving to the next place with the next desire. There is nothing wrong with this. This is human nature and to find yourself in a place of having desires and having them fulfilled is exhilarating. It can almost become a game and there are a few rules, that when followed accordingly, can create the feeling of winning even before your desire has manifested.

Rule #1: When you're in a place with unfulfilled desires remember to not feel a sense of fear, anxiety, frustration or even impatience. Did I just hear a, "Yeah, right," with a tone of sarcasm in there? That's fine. I know how you feel. I've been there myself only to realize once I started playing by the Universe's rules and not my own, everything changed for me. You see it's those exact emotions that keep your desires from being fulfilled because you're not in a receiving place. It's not your job to figure out all the ways to get your desires fulfilled. It is your job to be very clear in asking for what you want and to trust with all your heart everything will come to you at the perfect time. When you get the urge to take an action toward fulfilling your desire that feels wonderful to you, then do so. But only if it feels right. Do not push action on yourself just because you think you should be doing something. That will only bring you more frustration and you won't have any fun in the process.

Rule #2: Focus on what is working in your life and feeling more of your true essence more often. Ask yourself anytime you're full of doubt and fear, "What is working?" Allow yourself to live on the outside, what really exists on the inside of your soul with your values, integrity and needs. Match your inside to your outside world so they become one and the same. Focus on what's true for you without the concern of what others may think. When you do these things you are becoming a vibrational match to everything that is rightfully yours just waiting to show up in your life which can ultimately feel like a miracle, fulfilling your desires in ways greater than you ever imagined possible.

Rule #3: Be aware of your thoughts. When you watch what pops up in your mind throughout the day about your desires you will begin to notice if you've got more negative chatter going on or more positive chatter. Or as I call it, your Gremlin or your Genie. Once there is an awareness of your thoughts your world can begin to change. In a heartbeat, you can change your thought and create it to be anything that makes you feel good. You can even take yourself on a mini vacation. Use your imagination to create a scene that you're in where you feel a sense of joy, fun, peace or calmness. Whatever you need at the time. Go there alone, so you don't have to pay attention to how anyone else is feeling or respond to what he or she may say. This is strictly for you and your well-being. You only need to go there for a very short time, just create change in your thought pattern and raise your vibration enough so you become aligned with what you're desiring by feeling good. When you feel a shift leave the scene and go about your day. You can do this many times throughout the day to create the shift you're wanting. I promise you, the more you do this, the less your Gremlin will show up, the better you'll feel and the quicker your desires get fulfilled.

Rule # 4: Although this rule is simple it tends to be the hardest to grasp at a cellular, all knowing level. Trust. Trust that all your desires have been heard and are in the process of being fulfilled. When your thoughts, feelings, words and actions are in alignment, your unfulfilled desires will be fulfilled faster than you can create a new desire.

Rule #5: This rule may be the most important rule of all. Live in gratitude for all that you have in life. No matter what is going on there is always something to be grateful for and the Universe responds so graciously to gratitude when it is authentic and heartfelt. I'm going to suggest that you create a gratitude journal and write in it everyday. It only takes a couple of minutes to come up with a few things to be grateful for each day and when you do this you'll open yourself up to receiving more and more things to thank the Universe for.

So embrace your unfulfilled desires and be willing, for the next 30 days, to play by these five rules and see what shows up differently for you. You may find certain desires getting fulfilled or maybe you'll feel lighter about life in general. Either way, if you don't give it a whirl you'll never know what could have been.

The starting point of all wealth creation is desire. That is having something to wake up for in the morning, something that keeps you awake in the day and something in your life that makes you stay hungry. Nature always wraps up in strong desires that something which knows nothing like impossible and accepts no such thing as thing as failure. Therefore in your quest for wealth creation, you first need to desire wealth before you create wealth. If you do not desire it you cannot have it.

Wishing is not the same thing as desiring. Your wish for wealth is not the same thing as your desire for wealth. They are quite different. When you desire wealth, you are willing to burn all bridges in your quest for wealth creation and cut off all sources of retreat. Wishing will never bring you wealth. Rather it is a burning desire that becomes an obsession which makes planning for the ways to acquire wealth possible and backed by persistence that makes wealth creation realizable. All those who have accumulated great wealth did some amount of day-dreaming, hoping, wishing, desiring and finally planning before they acquire their wealth. Note however that your desire for wealth alone will never bring you wealth. You need to back it up with faith and a belief that you can acquire it.

To create wealth in abundant quantity, you need to desire to be wealthy and to have it. It is your desires for wealth that will enable you identify the means of acquiring it. This world is filled with opportunities in wealth creation. The opportunities will not find you. Rather, you are the one to find the opportunities. Unless you desire wealth however, you cannot recognize the opportunities when they present themselves. It is only desire that can perform the impossible, even in wealth creation.

All men of abundant wealth in the world today are men of very, very strong desires for wealth. They did not just wish for wealth. They desire it and it became an obsession to them and they burnt all bridges of retreat in their quest to acquire their wealth. They never thought about failure, only success. And succeed they did. Think of the Bill Gates, the Donald Trumps, the Jerry Yangs, the Michael Dells, the Rockefellers etc.