Thoughtfulness is a concept that many people find difficult. They think that just giving gifts is enough to satisfy people who are ruled by this love secret. The fact is that people who thrive on thoughtfulness do not care as much about the gift itself. Instead, they love the fact that someone thought of them enough to spend time choosing, packaging and bringing them a gift. It is the time that goes into the gift rather than the gift itself that these people thrive on.
For someone who thrives on thoughtfulness, the idea that someone spent the time to find out what they liked is very meaningful. They themselves will spend hours obsessing over small details such as the type of wrapping and the card that will be included. The idea that someone might simply purchase something for them without thinking about it is not only inconceivable, it is hurtful as well.
Everyone can benefit from this love secret. If you start remembering the gifts that people have given you through the years, the chances are good that some gifts will stick out. They may not have been the most expensive and they were often not given at a time when one was expected. They may not have even been a material object at all. It may have been a card, a letter or even a helping hand that was given to you. The most memorable gifts are the ones given by people who put great thought and attention into what they were giving or doing.
How To Tell If You Are Affected Most By This Love Secret
As with the other love secrets, it is not surprising that if you are extremely thoughtful that you will expect others to be that way as well. If you are ruled most by this particular love secret, you will generally be considered by others to be extremely thoughtful. Here are a few key signs that this love secret matters most to you:
• You tend to be upset if someone forgets an anniversary or birthday. You do not regret that you missed out on a gift. These significant dates are a way for others to show that they have paid attention to your wants and needs and are gifting you with an item that reflects these. If that is forgotten, it is very upsetting to you.
• You are someone who is happiest if you have the opportunity to show others you care by gifting them with items.
• It takes you a very long time to pick out gifts or cards for the people in your life. A card, for example, needs to have meaning that is directly related to the person as well as the occasion.
• You tend to spend a long time wrapping the gift. Preparing the gift for giving with wrapping that the person will appreciate is another way for you to express how much that person means to you.
• A gift which is practical but still what you asked for or needed is appreciated more than a gift which may be fun but which has not had a lot of thought put into it. A gift that is totally unsuitable will upset you greatly.
How To Tell If Your Partner Thrives Most On Thoughtfulness
If you are in a relationship with a person who values thoughtfulness the most, it can be an interesting experience. There are times when you may get a reaction to a gift that is totally unexpected. It can be hard to understand why a large, extravagant present may get a lukewarm reaction whereas a small, inexpensive gift or one that is handmade may get a much more enthusiastic response.
If your partner is affected most by thoughtfulness rather than any other love secret they may:
• Become very upset if a birthday or anniversary is missed
• Tend to give gifts for minor occasions or even for no reason whatsoever
• Tend to choose blank cards where they can write information by hand or add extra writing to a preprinted card in order to personalize it more
If your partner is someone who is affected most by thoughtfulness you may think that they will be easy to please. This is not the case. The instant someone receives a gift with no perceived thought behind it they will likely become very upset and it is something that they will remember for years to come. If you want to avoid this you need to find ways to personalize the gifts that you give them even if it is in a small way.
Ways That You Can Work Thoughtfulness Into Your Daily Routine
If you want to find ways to work thoughtfulness into your daily routine you may worry that this will be expensive to do. Many people equate a good gift with one that is expensive. That is not actually the case. People who thrive on thoughtfulness actually pay more attention to the thought behind the gift rather than the amount that it cost.
Working thoughtfulness into your daily routine is less a matter of spending money than it is spending time getting to know your partner or spouse. Listening to them when they talk about things that they like or need as well as paying attention to their emotional state can help guide you as to the best time to slip them a little pick me up present or give you an idea about what matters to them when a more conventional gift giving opportunity comes along.
These people also appreciate a meal that is prepared for them or a card that is slipped onto their pillow in the morning. It shows that you are thinking about them rather than simply taking them for granted. The thought that they are being taken for granted is something that is very upsetting to people who thrive on thoughtfulness.
If you keep notes on things that your partner prefers or times that were most significant to that person you will be able to link gifts or favors that you give them to times that were significant to that person. For example, they may love a vial of sand from a beach that you walked along together or take-out desert from a favorite restaurant that may cheer them up when they are having a bad day.
Wrapping and preparing a gift will also help make a person who thrives on thoughtfulness feel fulfilled. Even if you have no skill at wrapping, taking the time to try may make them happier than a gift which has been professionally wrapped by someone other than you.
Thoughtfulness does not simply apply to material gifts. There are many ways that you can work thoughtfulness into your daily routine and many of them do not have anything to do with gifts at all. By showing your partner or spouse that you can tell what their emotional or physical needs are and provide assistance or service can be a great way to show thoughtfulness. In many ways, this can be very similar to acts of unselfishness and, in many ways they do tend to overlap. Here are some examples that you may want to incorporate into your everyday life:
Everyone loves to have a night off. From time to time, you may want to take on those tasks which your partner would normally perform. If you see that they are tired, offer to make dinner, help the children with their homework or, if money permits, get take out so that you can simply share some quality time with one another.
If you see that your partner is working from home, offer to take care of other responsibilities so that they are not forced to look up from their work and can get their tasks finished more quickly. You may also want to see if there is anything that you can do to help. Sometimes, even having someone to perform routine minor tasks can be a great help to your partner.
Bring home a favorite food or beverage that you would not normally purchase. If you love to cook, prepare it for your partner. This shows that you remember what their preferences are and can be a great way to show that you are thinking of your partner.
Remember that by showing acts of thoughtfulness on a daily basis, it will become easier in time. You will learn which acts are received best by your partner. By doing so on a regular basis, your partner will feel less like you are trying to "buy their affection" in times when you may be experiencing conflict.
If you have never shown gifts of thoughtfulness before and you only do so in times when you and your partner are disagreeing, it can be a very dangerous situation. You may be accused of trying to buy them things in order to get out of trouble and this can lead to additional conflict.
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